* CF-Type II, SDIO AND MMC slots, all simultaneously useable of course
* Jog-wheel THAT CAN MAP THE CLICK TO IE'S BACK FUNCTION!
* Gameboy-style key layout WITH BUTTONS THAT DO NOT HAVE PICTURES ETCHED ON THEM! And don't recess the pad and buttons like Casio did, it makes it not as good as it could be.
* 4" screen with a slightly higher resolution (320x512 or someting along those lines). Also excellent dot pitch of course!
* Built-in 802.11b switchable to 802.11a, Bluetooth and consumer IR in addition to standard IR (high-speed)
* A screen with the quality of the Casio E-125 both indoors and out. Don't give me this iPaq 39xx stuff either, it's not as good! (Here we go again Moose!

)
* The screen should ideally swivel 360 degrees.
* Built-in LCD camera.
* 800MHz X-Scale WITH OS OPTIMIZATIONS! (Well, ANY XScale with optimizations would probably do!)
* 3-D graphics coprocessor that is decent. Just ask ATI to get it right this time!
* Sound co-processor so I finally won't have to write my own damned wave mixing code! And please, for the love of God give me synth capabilities! Why is it that my Commodore can synthesize waveforms but I can't do it with my iPaq?!?
* USB2 or, better yet, Firewire syncing.
* Built-in modem and NIC (should be doable with AMR)
* Two or more extra programmable buttons on the side in addition to record and start menu for whatever the hell I want.
* Screen protective flip-cover.
* Built-in keyboard like the Zaurus SL-5500. Damn that is cool!
* Biometric scanner (just 'cause it's cool).
* Sleeve capability for those really far-out additions later.
* Battery life of at least 10 hours of REAL work (i.e., playing MP3s for ten hours straight with the screen on). I'll loosen this a bit when using wireless or as more cards are in use. Battery of course must be user-replaceable.
* Vibration capability for alarms and such.
* Headphone/microphone jack that does surround-sound emulation and can be used as a headphone OR microphone jack (and there should be some sort of special adapter available to do both at the same time... don't ask me how though!)
* Built-in speaker and microphone with speaker quality better than any we have today (I'm not looking to replace my stereo of course, but at least as loud as current iPaqs with better quality) and a high-quality microphone for good voice recognition capabilities.
* Built-in USB port with host capabilities.
* Built-in GPS reciever.
* The whole thing has to be under $1,000 (I expect something around $800-$900 for what I'm asking for!)
Ok, stop laughing. STOP LAUGHING!
...and so I said to Mr. Gates: "$640 billion should be enough for anyone!"