PocketMatrix

This rant has been building up inside me for about 3 months now and I've finally snapped- this is about the current craze for publishing "unboxing" videos on the internet.

WHY WOULD YOU DO IT?! If I'm interested in a video of the product, I want to see it working, not you carefully opening the box and removing it from the packaging with a stupid grin on your face. All you're doing is reminding me that I don't own one, and rubbing it in.

Two: it's insanely sad to video yourself taking something out of the box and getting excited about it.

Three: "unbox" isn't even a word. Stop using it. I think this annoys me most of all.

Four: You must have something better to do - this is aimed in particular at the guy who made a box with iPhone stickers on it and a fake phone inside, and then (pity of pities) videoed himself opening it and actually being excited.

Please stop. Whew - I feel better now.

* Photos I can stand
** Provided you're not in them

I unboxed a new box of cereal yesterday. Since you don't like videos, I'll just describe the process and my feelings about it.

A new box of cereal! I simply couldn't wait to get it open and enjoy the contents. In fact, I could slightly smell the scent of sugary goodness emanating from the folds of the cardboard. I took hold of the box, and was about to begin tearing it apart, rending cardboard from glue, when I finally came to my senses. There was undoubtedly a "proper" way to unbox this cereal. Indeed I was on the verge of a complete disaster - the package was upside down - I had nearly opened it from the bottom! It was then I noticed the words "OPEN OTHER END" printed in a simple sans serif font - elegant yet authoritative. How thoughtful of Kellogs to include such a warning. I had nearly incurred catastrophic and irreversible damage to the product; you see, manufacturers specifically package their products knowing that settling will occur during shipping. Thus the ratio of marshmallows to cereal pieces would have been completely wrong at the bottom of the box, destroying the carefully orchestrated design. I gently flipped the box over, and there on the top noticed an anomaly not found on the bottom - instead of a clean straight cut, the edge deviated in a shape not at all unlike a tab. This too contained text in an authoritative yet simple sans serif font.

Well, I would go on, but this type of thing really works better as a video. I mean, you can't see my facial expressions or anything like this.

Dan East