satanic evangelists and the mob

[Keira]

i dont know what made me post this but i was at the 7-11 (it's heaven of course) and there were all these guys in suits there and they were kinda scary and one of em started talking to me and was asking me all these questions about the bible and i have never seen a bible therefore i have never read one but he was all like "if you read it you will notice since we are all made from adam and eve and they sinned meaning we are all sinners and the punishment for sin is death, that is why we all die" so i was all "i'm not gonna die i'm a jew" cuz i was freaked out and didnt know what to say but i was thinking about it and thats a good theory which leads me to the question "where do slurpies come from?"

[Village_Ideot]

mmm....the mountain dew slurpies are the best...root beer is really good too

...i need to stop using the elipsis

[Michael Y]

...

[Chris Edwards]

*begin religious rant* - sorry, I felt inclined to do this for some reason:

Well, according to the bible, the wages of sin IS death. However, that does not mean we're all going to hell. Jesus died on the cross once for us all. After his death, he spent three days in hell, then was risen from the dead -- thus defeating it. When we repent our sins those sins are put upon Jesus, therefore, in God's eyes we are sinless.

Remember that this is not mortal death, but everlasting death that we are talking about here. Everyone's going to die here on Earth .

"If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness." 1 John 1:9

[randall]

Unless you are gay, right Chris? Because That is wrong, wrong WRONG. Especially LESBIANISM.

Slurpees originated in India, and are in fact a food staple within that region. Sometimes they will wrap a towel around their head to prevent brain-freeze, a custom originated by the Arabs when they first obtained the Slurpee technology. When a large number of Indians left India, they brought their native foods, and established small resaurants called 7-11.

7-11 is a magic number, meaning "convenience". Or as a more literal translation: "We can't read English, so we picked a couple of numbers to name our resaurants instead. Plus they rhyme".

[TechMage]

[Paul]

i remember in an episode of clerks they went to work at a convenience store in india and this indian guy came in and said "why are all you clerks always american? speak HINDU!!"

haha

[Chris Edwards]

[Paul]

so how do they decide who goes to hell or not?

i was under the impression that christians believe that we are born sinners and the only way to avoid going to hell by default is to be good.

so doing nothing bad will also send you to hell because although you've not been bad, you have exactly been overly good either, just average.

well, whatever, explain it if you want.

[NYIllustrator]

ah the christians, they killed a ton of people in the crusades and now molest small boys in the church. Thank you god.

[Paul]

haha, go nyillustrator!

[James S]

NYIllustrator, those aren't Christians that do that. That's one person or a small group that call themselves Christrian.

The whole point of Christianity is that no matter what or how many sins we commit God, Jesus Christ our Lord and Saviour, has already paid them for us. All we have to do to receive the reward of eternal life in Heaven is accept that gift that He gave us when He died on the cross.

The reason our mortal, physical bodies die is because Adam and Eve both ate from the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil and didn't eat from the Tree of Life Everlasting instead. It's not the act of sinning that brought worldly death upon us. God didn't say "don't eat this fruit" to test us and he didn't punish us. Adam and Eve punished themselves by eating the fruit from the tree that God knew would be bad for them. God tried to protect mankind, but we kind of screwed it up. God Himself came through Jesus, the Messiah, to rectify that action.

[Paul]

you';re speaking in riddles, like all christians.

you're saying this 'gift' is basically like saying "if i kill someone then become a believer, then DIE, i'll go to heaven and be rewarded"?!?!

gods an evil vengeful son-of-a-bitch.

i'm gonna kick his heavenly ass when i see him.

[Robby]

once again moose, you have made a classical american mistake.

you see, recorded history started thousands of years ago. NY is referring to the crusades in the 16th(?) century, the ones where all good christians went off to the middle east to try and beat the shit out of muslims. There were either 7 or 9 crusades in total, the 7th was the really big one.

so it was a big group of christians, it was what they did at the time. now they just make cakes and fiddle small boys at the back of the church...
"yes, child. come and look at the back of the organ. you find it very.... stimulating [dribbles]".

If you have never heard of this, watch the disney cartoon of Robin Hood. At the end richard the lionheart comes back from the crusades and its all happy again.

[James S]

I didn't think anything I said was anything but straight forward, I'll see if I can clear things up.

If you repent from your sins you will go to Heaven because Jesus paid for your sins. If you kill someone and repent then you have already been saved.

God gave you a free will so you could choose to be a Christian or not, so you could choose to love Him or not. If He wanted to He could make us do anything He wants, He does have supreme sovereign power. He wanted us to have free will so that when or if we decide to love and follow Him it's MEANINGFUL.

And Robby, this is trying really hard to be a serious discussion. God isn't the one that led the Crusades, man did. Man makes mistakes. Man may try to represent the religion, but we'll never get it all perfect. So please, don't get stuck on the Crusades or the latest news about the Arch Bishop. Man isn't perfect, that's why Christianity is a religion. That's why Jesus came to save us, because we aren't perfect.