by randall » Mar 30, 2002 @ 6:59am
Truly, it isn't as easy as everyone pretends it is. In hindsight I was afraid for no reason. But the chances I did take I succeeded in getting the girl 100% of the time.
Let me bore you to death.
I never dated until the final quarter of my Senior year in highschool. She was my first girlfriend.
Before that, I was always a flirt but never followed through. Girls came on to me and I freaked. I was always asked if I was "gay". It hurt. In those terms it was thrown more as an insult than an real inquiry to my sexuality. Especially at 17 when EVERYONE is dating except me.
I was insecure for some dumbass reason. Kissing a girl for the first time scared me to death. Hell yeah I wanted to touch her boob... but when was the best time? IS there a best time? Do I ask first?
It was always best for me to try to avoid those situations at all cost. For me it wasn't a fear of rejection, it was a fear doing it wrong and getting laughed at. I couldn't bare having her tell her friends at school and have them snicker as I walked by.
I look back now and think how silly I was. But I also look back and fondly remember admiring my "library girl" from a distance. She smiled at me now and then- or maybe she was smiling at someone behind me. It doesn't matter, because that one moment lit up my whole day.
I don't remember what she looks like, and I don't know if I ever knew her name. But I still remember the feeling I got. And sometimes when I glance at my wife from across the room and she looks back, I get that feeling all over again.
Enjoy your library girl, Paul.
Off Topic Banter Surgically Removed From A Real Thread
