by Brig » Sep 2, 2004 @ 8:31am
I can't escape parties here at Chico.
Note the great irony of my short, but extraordinary tale...
Once upon the time in the mystical land of California, where fairies swarmed in droves and a robotic killing machine was duke, there was a boy named Brig. He was the son of a hard-drinking soldier in the king's army. He was a good boy when he could manage to keep his mouth shut, and had come to the point where he was able to manage the keeping of said mouth shut in normal conversation.
Brig, who was known as Brig the Sober in his family, was desperate to move out of the family home and to a university. Reading was his idea of a good time--he was a chill fellow. Afraid of not being able to ask for money and receiving it within a few hours, he chose the closest one to home that would accept him quickly. Little did he know, he was about to plunge into the very heart of hedonism (he wishes)!
He accepted the invitation of a few female honor students at his university to live with them the next year. Naturally, he jumped at the chance--but not for the reasons one might think. For Brig had mad game and the ladies weren't a problem (cough), but he wanted a clean home, and knew that other men his age would turn his home into a mud-washed shack.
Class should be a class at university (har har).
So he moved in with the girls, and found that his apartment was in the number one housing area for parties. The honor students he moved in with turned out to be liquor guzzlers, and he was left in a situation where he could nary read a book without hearing someone shout "My balls in your vodka" somewhere out on the lawn.
Unable to resist the temptation of getting rowdy and 'bout it 'bout it, Brig bought some ball-less vodka and went to work and got very drunk. And so, Brig was left with a choice--whether or not to continue with the hedonistic practice, or to revert back to good clean fun Brig.
What will happen to Brig? Find out in the next exciting installment of I AM SO DRUNK II: VODKA ON THE BALLS.
Truth is a possession.
I Am SOOOOO Drunk
