by sirdaved » Apr 10, 2002 @ 2:08am
Okay, so here's a typical glowing review that might be placed by a paid-off hack. I may try to sell it to Machine-Jerks:
"This is possibly the greatest port of Doom that we will ever see. The screen displays are highly intuitive and the graphics impeccable!". (Note extreme hyperbole!.) "What an ingenious move it was to place the full program in main memory since a program this fantastic should never share space with programs from lesser vendors. And how appropriate it was to make DoomPDA available for ARM processors alone so that all the cheapskate, behind-the-times Mips owners will, rightly, never get their unworthy hands on this wondrous product." (Make sure to make the products weaknesses look like master strokes.) "Finally, kudos to all those talented programmers who have allowed us to re-live the wonder years of Doom's first release just as Id intended." (Use stupid, over-used, yesteryear terms like 'kudos'.) "I for one will be only too happy to pay another $20 for a Doom2 release and, hopefully, following that, another $20 for a release that will run custom Wads; what a bonehead that Jimmy guy was for offering all 3 Doom capabilities in one Doom port!"